Can I scan in a few IQ points for you while I'm at it?

I've actually become quite fond of one of my co-workers, in a round-about kind of way. He's taken on a new meaning in my existence. Whenever I desperately need comic relief, almost in order to maintain the slight grip I have on sanity whilst at work, fate seems to make him oblige.

I watched him fill in an online survey the other day. Fuck knows why he was filling it in. When an option to select how long he'd been using the internet came up, he selected, "7+ years.". I pray to god he selected that option because he knew I was watching and wanted to enlarge his e-penis.

Ironically enough, it was him who defined Hotmail as the language that webpages are structured from. He has a laugh that is so unmistakable. I think that laugh, and his naturally loud personality came about as a self-preservation technique. So that his mother didn't lose him as a child....

He spends a good portion of his day playing backgammon over MSN, when he should be out working. I've come to term him, the "Backgammon Boychee", in a kind of behind-his-back-make-him-out-to-be-a-superhero tone of voice. Because that's what he is. In his exclusive narrow view of the world, he's the superhero. And everyone should know that.

Anyway, Backgammon Boychee had his laptop stolen a couple of weeks back. Fortunately, he had an Excel print-out of vital sales figures, which he asked Dora, the boss's PA, to scan in. Much to his puzzlement, the file type he received it in was .jpeg.

He then queried Dora, asking her why she didn't have the common sense to scan it into Excel....

Maybe he should stick to backgammon.

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Glossary:

boychee, noun; (pronounced, boy`chee)

A play on the Afrikaans word, "boytjie", which means boy. In my own personal narrow-minded fashion, boychee is defined as a guy that reckons he's the shit.

Usage: (in a sarcastic tone) - "That guy's so cool, hey. He's such a fucking BOYCHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"